18th Feb, 2008


This is a poem I wrote on June 30, 2005 about Russell. I was feeling so low, not understanding any of the reasons why he did not come out of the lifestyle, the way we wanted. We want to dedicate this to all of the parents out there with children in the lifestyle, and especially the ones who have lost their children to HIV/AIDS.

We must understand there is a “why?” asked by all who have lost their children, no matter what the situation. God has a purpose for all of us, and when it’s our time, we have to go. Only God knows this, but it is only human nature that we grieve and wonder why?

God will use the death of my son for his glory, his death must not have been in vain. We will do whatever we are led to do. 

I will share my private feelings with all of you through this poem, and I pray that it may help someone.




I feel the earth beneath my feet
I see the clouds in the sky
Nothing will ever be the same, since you left us
We thought you would come back home
We waited……………
We prayed………….
We hoped…………….
We had so much faith………….
We never gave up……………….
God, why did you take Russell from us?

The earth has no beauty, the clouds are dark
Our bodies are worn, we are so tired
We know how you loved the Lord
You’re safe in his arms, this we are sure
Only time will bring us together again
This time you will understand
Only God loves you more than we do

Our hearts are broken, nothing can mend
Dreams are shattered, they are gone
Our tears are many, they will not stop
You are with us always, where ever we are
None can take away our memories
They are in our hearts to stay
Someday soon, we hope you will greet us at
Heaven’s gate, with that great big smile
Maybe singing in that heavenly choir 

Love, Mom and Dad

Psalm 10:1 Why standest thou afar off, O LORD? why hidest thou thyself in times of trouble.
Psalm 34:18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

Russell  Groff, Born: January 3, 1978   Died:  November 23, 2004


The poem was very touching. I am so glad for this tribute to your son, and for your testimony to God’s grace in your lives.

I pray that this site will be used to reach out to those who are struggling with homosexuality– that they might know there is a way out of that lifestyle. The way out may be hard but it is not impossible with God’s help.

We all struggle with sinful desires, but God is there for ALL who seek Him.

We do not understand the “whys,” but the God of the universe does! We serve a great God.

Thank you for your comment, it is a blessing to our hearts.

We do not know the whys, but we do trust and obey. God will take care of everything in his own time.

We love our son so very much, no matter how much we are attacked for telling him the truth. We do pray that someone who is struggling with homosexual tendencies will know the pain that Russell suffered,( not from his parents) but from the gay lifestyle and his death of AIDS.

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