2nd Sep, 2008

Where the roses never fade………….

When we left Russell’s grave on Sunday, I told Lowell this was the title I wanted to use for this story.

Each week, Lowell and I go to Russell’s grave together. Going there to memorialize him with a few mementos, (like flowers, his picture, and the cross) helps us be able to grieve, and keep our sanity. We know that God is always with us, when we go there. He knows all we have had to endure at his grave, from the people who control things there. We just pray, someday we can get him moved away from that place. Those who desecrate his grave removing things, are going to suffer the wrath of God.

Maybe Russell knows we are there, and that comforts us. We do what we can, to keep his grave site blooming with love. We strive to keep a picture of him there, (as I have said before) and the symbolic twig cross. Jesus died on the cross so we could know that Russell is now in Heaven. I have talked about this in my last story, it hurts us for them to take the cross from his grave. 

This week we took roses, because sometimes we just hope he knows, (up there in Heaven) that we are still remembering the wonderful son God gave us. It hurts us that he made some bad choices for his life, but we still love Russell, as we always have. Our love, is the true love, God gave to Russell. No matter what, we will go on loving him, and grieving for him. We just miss him so very much.

When we visit Russell’s grave, we have to park our car next to his grave, as I have talked about before. I always have a music tape or CD in the car, and listen to music as we work on Russell’s grave. This day, I changed the tape, not knowing what I was going to put on.

When I was placing the roses on his grave and arranging them in a vase, the song came on, Where the Roses Never Fade.  I started listening to the words of this song, and my heart just melted. What a wonderful place we have, to look forward to going, if we are Christians. One day there will be a place where, The Roses will never fade.

I know God picked this song for us, at this specific time. I started weeping, hearing the words of this old hymn. If only we would open our hearts, and know that God is guiding us, we can feel the Holy Spirit in the things we do. These words really were a comfort to us, because we knew God was looking down on us and what we were doing. I am so tender hearted, that I cry a lot, when I talk about Russell, or go to his grave. I loved him so much, as did his dad.

I get so discouraged sometimes, but when God gave me this song, my heart was over joyed. God is good…….he always lifts me up when I get depressed about the whole situation. I know he wants me to go on and do what I am doing.

Everyday, I think things will get better, but losing Russell has devastated us. We know in our hearts, nothing will ever get any better,(until we get to Heaven). We have been through so much with this mess, no one could ever know the heartbreak.

We would like to be able to witness to those who are confused about homosexuality. It is so hard to get people to listen. We really tried with Russell, but he was so brainwashed, (as I have stated before). 

AIDS is something people do not want to think or talk about, but it is real! It is the evil of the gay lifestyle. I want people to stand up, and keep telling their loved ones what can happen in this lifestyle. Russell’s tragic death was so unnecessary, if only he had listened to the parents who loved him so much. I am going into so much detail, because I want everyone to know what Russell went through, who he was, and what he could have been. Everyone should know how he suffered from this horrbile disease.

I know it sounds like I want to hold others responsible for what happened to Russell. I don’t say he was not responsible for his choices, but there was a lot of dirty stuff done to Russell.

As I talk to others, I find this is typical of the people involved with someone they want to control. 

We know, one day we will see our son again, and then all the pain and suffering we have had to endure, will end. We pray that letting everyone know of all the things that has transpired with our situation, will help someone to leave this lifestyle,or not go into it. This will help us to know that Russell’ did not die in vain. May the words I write, be used by the Holy Spirit to help someone who is confused by the homosexual lifestyle.

It is hard sometimes, to go over and over all of this stuff, as I have had to do. I keep telling people, they need to stand up against this agenda, and fight for their children and grandchildren. This is not a good legacy to pass on to them. The propaganda of the gay activists are to promote this lifestyle as normal and acceptable.

I hate what Hollywood is doing with the images of the gay lifestyle. Our youth of today are truly confused by all the lies coming out of Hollywood and through the media. It is sickening how they are pushing this agenda down everyone’s throat.

So many are confused, that one is born gay. I get so upset with the ignorance of Hollywood, and this statement. It is purely demeaning to God and his word, saying someone is born gay, is just that! God did not make anyone gay, and you only have to start reading in Genesis, to know how God created man and woman for marriage and reproduction.

There are those who don’t want to admit their sin, and what they are doing, so they try to deny or change the words of God. It is a sick lifestyle, one of devastation on the body. Then there is the horrific death from AIDS, that the gay activists don’t want to talk about. The diseases they are passing along, will eventually effect everyone, gay or not.

The images of Russell’s deterioration,(fighting this horrible AIDS disease) and his fight to survive, are so frightening. So many lies have been told about his illness and death, and hopefully I can get these cleared up as time goes along. I cannot describe what I feel about Russell’s suffering and death. I know how he must have wanted to have his family near him.

Russell was such a sensitive person, who would probably never have complained no matter what he had to go through. He had no choice in anything, when he was controlled every minute of the day by his partner. I know from what I read, he was a very lonely young man dying without his family by his side.

Lowell and I don’t know from one day to the other, what God has in store for us. I just  pray that he will guide us, to do his will. May God bless all who will follow his direction, he loves each and every one of you, and does not want anyone to suffer the pain and devastation of the gay lifestyle. If we could get people to understand, the gay lifestyle is a lie of Satan, then Russell’s life will not have been in vain. No parent should have to go through what we have.

Lowell and Carolyn Groff

Ephesians 6:10  Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

Ephesians 6: Put one the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil

Ephesians 6: 12  For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, built against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Ephesians 6:13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all , to stand.

(I believe these words are what a great man whispered in my ear one day, when we were going through a really hard time, and had done every thing we could to stand). These words were to, “Put on the full armour.” I knew what he meant.

Ephesians 6:14 Stand therefore, having your loins gird about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

Ephesians 6:15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

Ephesians 6:16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

Ephesians 6:17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

James 1:14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

James 1:15  Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

James 1: 17  Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with who is no variableness, either shadow of turning.

God does not make anyone gay……….it is a choice!

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