23rd Jan, 2012

So much pain…..

Our hearts still ache from the pain of losing Russell. It seems like there should be an end to this hurt, but it will never go away….  No one can ever know how it hurts to know what was done to my son when he got sick.

Twenty six years of loving this young man, and then having his life taken from us…… His life meant nothing to these people who destroyed him.

I go to bed thinking of him, and get up in the morning thinking of him. Russell is always with me. We grieve for the way he died!

One day the people who destroyed our son will pay……There is a special place for people like this on Judgement day!

Kids today think homosexual behavior is exciting, but let me tell them all……it is not! The people who encourage it are in my eyes full of sin themselves.

Russell lay dying of AIDS that ravaged his body, (according to the medical records) and he wanted to see his mother and father. Kevin told Russell we would not come….how this must have hurt him. This haunts me every day of my life what this creep did to my son!  He and his family refused this dying young man to see his parents.

I have talked a lot about what went on in that hospital, but I cannot see how the doctors and nurses did not follow proper procedure and notify his legal next of kin. I feel they violated the law in doing what they did.

Kevin’s dad went to the doctor and told him we disowned our son. They did everything they could to keep Russell from us. Some horrible experiences with these people.

Parents don’t stop loving their children because they do something that is wrong. The homosexual lifestyle hurts parents who do not accept it for their children; for these parents really are the ones who loves them. I cannot even think of accepting this lifestyle for my son!

We prayed for Russell and had others praying for him to leave the lifestyle. I suppose we will never understand while we are on this earth, but one day we will……

I want to tell everyone of the pain Russell had to suffer…..it was devastating for me to read of the things he had to endure. It is a mother that wants to heal the hurt, but can’t.

The homosexual lifestyle is a death sentence! Those who encourage it will have the blood of many on their hands, and I believe God will deal with that.

I want the pain to stop hurting in my heart…..it is almost too much to handle sometimes. For every person who enters into this lifestyle, there is a mother, father, or a loved one who suffers because of their choice.

The heaviness in my heart feels like a ton of bricks at times. Just this morning I looked at Russell’s little cowboy boots and remembered him wearing them so often. We had a big pond on the farm and the boys and their sister would fish all the time; this is one memory of him wearing the boots. These boots sets in his room with his things as if they are waiting on him to come home.

We went to Russell’s grave today as we do several times a week. We always take care of his grave even with all the pain we have had to endure in doing so. It’s always hard to think of what could have been.

Lowell and Carolyn Groff

John 8:32  And ye shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

John 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.                              



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