29th Nov, 2008

My deepest thoughts

When I start to write a story, I feel overwhelmed with emotions, because there is so much to write about. Gay activists have written that I am writing to get rid of my pain, and that is far from the truth, I am writing to get the truth out about the lies that have been told, and some of the horrible things that has happened to our son and us. 

The pain will never go away, and I am tired of people hurting other people, with their lies. My son was hurt, and our hearts broken, and that is something that will never heal. No one can say that my writing is a perspective of getting comfort from the pain…… 

The stretch of the imagination can’t comprehend what we have been through, and most certainly, no one could ever know how Russell suffered and died. Russell most likely realized a lot of things, when he could not longer do anything about them.

Keeping Russell from us was a necessity, not love. Things are now obvious, as to what was to be gained from his death……We had investigaions done, and found a lot of insurance on our son’s life.

I know Russell chose to live this lifestyle, but I also know he was dominated. I just feel if someone had cared enough to tell him the truth, he may still be alive today. No one  around him cared enough to do this. You know when someone is surrounded with lies, they usually begin to believe them.

I have such a deep admiration for someone who comes out of the lifestyle and spends their lives trying to help the homosexual realize what they have experienced, finding the truth and being set free from the bondage of homosexuality.

When we started this court case to get Russell’s body brought home, it was for none of the reasons told on the Internet by the gay activists. Kevin got all of the gay community stirred with his made up stories…..one person said about the story on Pam’s House Blend (a gay blog) that they would, “wipe us out with a AK-47” (talking about the story that was posted about the gay parade). This was very upsetting for the gay activists to take this story Kevin twisted, and slander us all over the Internet, so much that someone would throw out a threat like this. If I had been a person of higher position, this would have been a real crime. The man was slapped on the wrist from what I could find out. I heard what state he was from, but never found out what police district he was from. Maybe someone would let me know this.

We loved our son, and still do. We are his parents, his blood kin. We gave him life, and someone else took it away. No one cared about him and how he was buried, but the people who loved him most. Gay relationships are not based on love, and I don’t care what anyone says about this. Russell was living a lie, and so are others who fool themselves into believing this lifestyle is anything but a horrific, destructive sin.

I spend many tiring days, and sleepless nights, thinking about things that happened during the six years of Russell’s life before he died. I think of the four years since he died, and what we have had to go through. Nothing hurts me any worse than the days I had to read about his suffering, after getting HIV.

I know a lot of things I cannot write about right now, but one day I will be able to lay it all out there for everyone to know about. Russell was lied to about things, and eventually everything will fall in place. God has shown me things and is guiding me to write about them. Many things will be detailed in my forth coming book.

Kevin started giving stories to the gay activists during the court case, and they all followed his stories to degrade us. We believe the gay newspapers in Baltimore, really did a lot of damage to our case. 

Such hate spewed over the Internet, and in letters to our attorneys, did much damage to our case too. Several letters were written by Kevin’s mother, who is an attorney, and she wrote these letters with vengeance. She never accepted the fact we did not accept her son, and the homosexual relationship. Because the position in the community, they thought we were afraid to right the wrongs they played a hand in. 

Kevin threatened us with his parents. He said, “You do not know who we are messing with.” These people messed with family affections in the most despicable way, which is a very serious matter. I have so many things that are such a burden to me, and I hope by writing about them, no matter what happens, we will be vindicated.  

Steve Charing, who is a gay activist, often wrote such horrible things about us, two people he did not even know. He seemed to thrive telling lies about the gay parade. The Metro Pulse, (a liberal gay oriented newspaper) wrote a story, saying it was a “Fred Phelps” type parade. I didn’t know who Fred Phelps was until I looked him up on the Internet. This was an outlandish lie, spread by Kevin and his friends. No one had signs saying anyone was destined to hell. These people brought a lot of love, and the only signs they brought were scriptures about the way God’s word denounces the homosexual lifestyle as an abomination to him. I have written about this already, but I wanted to again defend what was done at that gay parade. It seems to be something Charing and others delight in stretching the truth. I think he should have been there if he had wanted to write about us and others who were there.

There was nothing to prove the burial was Russell’s expressed wishes as stated by Mr. Charing, except the “phony” papers written by Kevin, (admitted in documents). There were three different versions of that burial paper.

As I am reading a story Mr. Charing wrote, he said Kevin’s parents was active in the Greater Knoxville PFLAG chapter, where his mother served as treasurer. Kevin was active in this chapter too. We believe this PFLAG group does a lot of damage in upholding the sin of homosexuality, under the guise unconditional love. This is not love to lie to you child……

Charing stated,”But his, (Kevin’s) family does not have the financial means to help Kevin in his series of lawsuits.” This alone should tell everyone what lies are being told. His parents both are lawyers, they have money to help him……what a joke, they are the only ones who have money, not us. Statements were made that we were well financed…….if they only knew!

Kevin was not facing financial ruin, he not only was a school teacher, he was using Russell’s money to finiance his lifestyle. Many things I will not put on the Internet, (but will be in my book, with proof). Kevin got Russell’s entire estate. He knew he did not need money, this was his way of getting the gay community to feel sorry for him, and lash out at us.

From what I found, the ACLU got involved in this case. He got a lot of financial help, which is what this is all about with him, “MONEY and “CONTROL.” Kevin did not care about Russell’s wishes, he just did not want to give up control. 

Russell was not, as stated by Steve Charing, estranged from his parents. He did not call home real often, and after he got sick we know he was warned not to tell us. Most children who move away do not call their parents all the time, and even those who live close by don’t always have time to call their parents often. We were always there for Russell and he knew we loved him, and tried to stay in contact with him. 

I am someone who will find the truth in everything, those around Russell could not afford our finding our son had AIDS,  when this was supposed to be such a loving relationship.

Mr. Charing wrote of a brief interview with the Washington Blade, in which I refused an interview, and they wrote a statement that I did give a brief interview. This was a blaten disregard for Russell’s family, and an unethical thing for a newspaper to do. I did not say anything about fearing ramifications, as they stated, I had said. This is just not something I would have said to a gay newspaper. I had already read a lot about them.  They made this stuff up, along with other slanderous remarks about us.

Charing also wrote about Kevin’s gay attorney, who harassed us with vengeance, after he took over the case. Kevin kept changing attorneys, I believe he wanted to get a lawyer that would be like this gay attorney was. Mr. Scurti said we got back his fishing tackle box back, that his father had given him , and this was a lie too. We asked for it, but did not get it. Just like the tools his dad gave him, we did not get. Other things we gave Russell, we would like to have had back, but instead they were destroyed or sold. The latter, being most likely. Kevin’s attorney made several statements after the agreement that were not true, and if he wants proof, I have it.

Mr. Charing wrote about the double tombstone, but he is not aware of the truth about that deal. Kevin violated some insurance stuff by charging his half of the stone to Russell’s estate. Mr. Scurti stated, the stone was the only thing they were going to change. I will say, I had some legal grounds to do something about this, if I had continued. Mr. Scruti made it sound like they did something for us by agreeing to this stone being replaced. It was something I wish I could have persued. 

Getting this homosexual stone removed, and replaced by a single stone, was the only thing they agreed to, (said Kevin’s attorney) and it was because Kevin was going to have to answer to the insurance company about his charging his half to Russell’s estate. I would never have dropped the case if my mother had not been critically ill, and I had to take care of her. We lost her two days after we dropped the case.

We have gone through a lot of pain and suffering, and only God really knows how hard it has been. I am strong, and will never give up telling the truth about all that has happened. These people like Joe Brummer, Steve Charing and others, just wish to inflict pain on people who have done anything but love and cherish their son.

The lies that have been told, will eventually return to bite those that have entertained them. Refusing to let the gay activists have their say, is what Russell’s website is all about.  

Kevin’s story written by Mr. Charing stated we wanted to challenge Kevin’s right to be executor, and hired an attorney in July to fight his right to have buried our son the way he did, and with a will made when Russell was not competent to do so. Even though the Judge made a decision, we have the right to say, we believe she made the wrong decision. With all we had, the case should have been easily won. It would have been won in Tennessee. We should have had a jury trial, and if we have to go back to court, it will be here in Tennessee and with a Jury trial.

We actually started fighting this case two weeks after Russell died, but Kevin did not know we hired an attorney after we found what Russell actually died of. We knew we had been lied to, but all the worms started coming out of the woodwork when we hired investigators to delve into happenings.

It was thought by Kevin and his family, that we hired an attorney much later, when the caveat was finally filed by the second attorney we hired. 

The homosexual activists are always saying we Christians hate the homosexual, but I don’t see the Christians treating anyone the way we have been treated. The people who stand up for the truth are the ones who have hate spewed against them.

Steve Charing and many others wrote about the gay parade my husband and myself went to a few months after Russell’s death. I have written about this before in one of my other stories, but I want to mention it again, because as I go through my files, I find that a lot of slander against us, was played up about this gay parade. This was amazing, some of the things that were written. We were naive as to what we were getting into, but we went there with only one thing on our minds, and that was to expose the fact that Russell died of AIDS, from living the gay lifestyle. We wanted to try to help others know about the destruction of a beautiful human being, who was named Russell. 

It was not easy to stand there all day and watch the sick things we saw. We were treated like dirt, but we still stood there with fellow Christians to witness against this horrible lifestyle. Our hearts were raw with grief, but we still wanted to go and try to do something to help others. Lowell and I have spent our lives trying to help others, and we tried to be really good parents. It is not the parent’s fault when a child makes bad choices, but it is hard not to play the blame game.

One person, who wrote he knew Russell, said Kevin was the love of his life. Well, I differ with this person, with all I know about Kevin. The kind of love that was shown for Russell, was one of seduction, control, and brainwashing. Russell was the quiet type, and I hate it when people talks of his wishes. Russell had no say in anything, and it certainly was not his wish to be buried the way he was.

This bar tender that claims to be a friend of Russell’s is someone that irritates me. I could see in his story the things that were so much like the things that were spread over the Internet. This is just one of the people who jumped on board with his lies. His stating that Russell set at the bar writing while Kevin and the rest of his, ” friends” were doing whatever, shows Russell had no interest in these things.

The statement this bar tender wrote, that Russell had different hair colors each week, well……I think he was mixing Russell up with someone else. Russell was a neat person, and I never knew of him having any kind of color in his hair. I would have know if he had been coloring his hair. This was just something to write about to hurt me, because I was always so proud of the fact, Russell was so immaculate with his appearance. The picture of him that someone else posted looked bad, he looked sick, and his appearance was not like Russell.  The picture was the first one I had seen of him looking so bad. His hair was longer than he usually wore it.

My beliefs and views are that of a mother who loved her son so much, she can see through all the lies. I will never be able to forgive what was done to my son. I know Russell’s life and memory means nothing to anyone but his family. Those who lied for the Court, and the making of the will, may not have to pay now for it, but there is a judgement day, when these deeds will be harshly judged.

Lowell and Carolyn Groff

Psalm 58: 2 Yea, in heart ye work wickedness, ye weigh the violence of your hands in the earth.

Psalm 58: 3 The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.

Psalm 58: 4 Their poison is like the poison of a serpent: they are like the deaf adder that stoppeth her ear


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