24th Jan, 2008

More from Russell’s parents about his life

January 24, 2007

In starting to write more about our precious son, we start thinking of all the pain we have gone through, and realized we are not alone in this situation.  There are so many other parents that are suffering the same pain we have. Many have loved ones in the lifestyle, and some have even lost their loved ones to HIV/AIDS, as we have.

This is a hurting pain that is so hard to describe, unless you have a loved one in it. Then to hurt even more, you have those who have tormented you, because you did not embrace the lifestyle.

So many people who have come into our lives who have been of great comfort, and we know that this is God’s blessing to encourage us along our journey. We are so thankful for these people, and pray for their loved ones to leave the lifestyle.

Our prayers are that other parents, never have to suffer the pain we have had to endure. My heart aches for those who are involved in the lifestyle, and their families.

These verses are for the parents who still need to have hope, no matter what has happened with my son I know God did bring him home from the enemy, and he is with God now. God has a plan for the time he did spend on this earth.

Jeremiah 31:16-17 saith the LORD; Refrain thy voice from weeping, and thine eyes from tears; for thy work shall be rewarded, saith the LORD; and they shall come again from the land of the enemy,
And there is hope in thine end, saith the LORD, that thy children shall come again to their own border.

I want to write about the little boy who wanted to take clogging classes with his sister. He was only about four years old. He was so cute, and really enjoyed these classes. He kept his instructors in stitches, (laughing.) He would make up a step, if he forgot one. He did not show a sign of making a mistake.

Our children did what they wanted to do for enjoyment, (we never pushed them into doing anything) they chose to do what they liked, and we stood behind them. All three were well rounded children in activities.

There were countless swimming lessons, and it was really a lot of fun to watch all of our children learn to swim. We wanted them to be safe around water. At a motel in Ohio, when Russell was just learning to swim, he ran out to the pool and jumped into the big part of the water, before we could stop him. He started going up and down, and I could see he was not swimming. As I was about to jump in, while screaming, a man quickly jumped in an saved him. I didn’t even know how to swim, and would probably have drowned both of us. That was a divine intervention. We were in such shock, and thanked the man so much, but never got his name and address. Someday, I pray to meet him again, if not on this earth, then in Heaven. I know that this man has a star in his crown, and when he gets there Russell will know him.

scan0024.JPGRussell started collecting baseball cards when he was very young. He loved to attend the local Blue Jays ball games. Russell played tee ball, baseball, and softball, so this was an inspiration to collect something he loved. He had gotten a lot of signed cards, and some of the players went on to play in the big leagues. He wanted to sell them to further his education. I don’t know what will happen to them when we are gone.                                                                                                                   

We believe, Russell enjoyed his karate lessons more than anything he ever did. He focused on becoming strong and healthy. He became very disciplined in this art. Russell had to overcome some health problems, due to his allergies and asthma. He had a low immune system, and caught colds very easy. Sometimes it was really hard for him to breathe during his lessons, but he never gave up. He went on to achieve a black belt in karate. Often, he had talked about teaching, to earn extra money in college. Most of his aspirations were dropped when he got involved in the homosexual lifestyle.

We had Russell and his brother and sister in a Christian School for a while, but it was hard to afford having them all three there with our income. Russell loved the Word of God. He knew all the books of the Bible, and was well versed. We regret having put them back in public schools, where the worldly influence is so bad. It is sometimes hard to do what God wants you to do for your children. Knowing what we do now, we most likely would have home schooled.

Russell started taking shots for allergies when he was in the second grade. We took him to one of the best allergist in town, and found what his problems were. His allergies had made him sick, because he was in a classroom where there was a lot of mildew and mold. I immediately, started to see what I could do about this situation.

The teacher and principal were very helpful in getting things started to solve the problems. The roof leaked into the walls, causing the water to go into the walls, forming mildew and mold, two things that Russell was very allergic to. The roof was fixed, and we bought  paint, (a special kind for mildew and mold ) for the classroom, and a special additive to put in the paint. The school maintenance people painted the whole classroom. We purchased a dehumidifier for the room, and each morning, the teacher would have a full container of water. After a day of classes, there was another container of water. She was really happy to get this health problem solved. Doing this not only improved Russell’s health issues, but those of his classmates, and teacher. 

Russell had to take allergy shots until he started in high school. His shots had built up his immune system, enough to stop taking them. He had quit having very many asthma attacks. While in grade school, we always had to have the teacher carry a special shot vial with her, for field trips or anywhere he might get stung by a bee. He was highly allergic to bee stings. We had to send a written letter, giving the teacher permission to give the shot, and she kept this locked up at school.

Russell and his siblings wanted a puppy when they were growing up, but they couldn’t have one because of his allergies. When Russell went away to college, in his second year, he bought a puppy. He could not afford this, and we were not too happy about the cost of the puppy while he was in school. He loved that puppy, and carried it around in his back pack. How he got away with it, I will never know. Everyone loved his little dog. We loved it when he brought it over, and we got to play with him. I will talk more about his little dog as we go on with the story.

Russell’s Dad and I worried when Russell told us the dreadful news of being involved in the homosexual lifestyle, we knew of his low immune system, and told him of that. We discussed him catching AIDS. He laughed at us, (if only if he would have listened to his parents.) He had already been indoctrinated about AIDS. We feel, he had been convinced he would not catch this disease.

I read in the huge amount of medical papers, (we had to have subpoenaed) where he had a hard time breathing. This hurt me,  because I could not tell them why. Sometimes, when reading Russell’s medical records, we felt he was alone, no one cared whether he was comfortable or not, and whether he lived or not.

I felt like I was there, and could not help Russell. This about drove me crazy to have to go through this. I have a lot of problems about the things that happened to Russell when he was ill. There are some deep troubling facts in the medical records, but we did not have a chance with getting all of these things in court. The main thing is that we proved what we set out to, with expert medical expert testimony.

I also read, when he was entered into the second hospital, the doctor did not recognize that he was hyperglycemia, (low blood sugar). The doctors at the first hospital was giving him insulin, and we felt his low blood sugar had turned to a diabetic condition, because of his illness. When he entered the second hospital, the admitting doctor should have known, if he had read his records, he had been given these medications. We knew from the medical records, that he was confused on the eleventh, when he entered the rehab. This was a place we believe, he was sent to die.

When Russell was asked if he had any pain, he would say no. He was in really bad condition, and we will never understand why he was not given any pain medication for nine days after this admission to Mercy rehab. The doctors and nurses and others all knew he was dying. We found some dreadful things that happened when Russell asked for a religious person. We believe Russell wanted to see us, and we believe he was told we would not come.

I saw in the medical papers, that Russell was confused, (on admission) on the eleventh of November 2004. The things he was saying to the doctor were strange. He seemed disoriented. Because of his being very ill, (and all of the problems he obviously had) he should have had pain medication prescribed. With all of the famous doctors who have done so many studies about pain in AIDS patients, I would think a doctor should know about these. We saw that he needed pain medication even if he was confused and could not express his pain. I know that he was just another AIDS patient waiting to die. This just tears me apart.

When Russell went to a doctor, he always told the doctors he was hyperglycemic, first thing. He did not do this at that time. All of this made us believe, Russell was confused. How could any doctor not recognize he was in pain, even if Russell said he was not in pain?  The many studies about pain in AIDS patients, proved to us, that Russell was not able to relay his pain. He had been through so much, and he was dying.  Why did he have to suffer so much…………?

I copied many studies, paid for them to be read by attorneys involved in the case, and they just laughed at us. When we asked for these back, the attorneys refused.

Russell was suffering, and with no pain medication for nine days, he just kept getting worse. When we were in this case, I called this doctor who admitted him, and he told me that he could not even remember Russell. This was so cold to me, a doctor could not remember a young man who was his patient, and was dying from such a dreadful disease. I cried, to think he was just another AIDS patient, without his family, (who were the only ones who cared if he was comfortable or not.) We loved him more than anything, and should have been with him.

He came from the first hospital with horrible bed sores that was infected too. There was infection around his tube in his gallbladder, and badly infected bed sores. It was obvious that no one was there for Russell to see that he was taken care of.   

This story will continue………………….

Lowell and Carolyn Groff

11 Thimothy 3: Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution

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