26th Jan, 2009

Roses for Russell, destroyed by peaceful Quakers…..

Yesterday, Lowell and I both went to Russell’s grave. He and I both have this flu bug now, and neither of us felt like going, but it is how we survive……we have to go there as often as we can. Anyone who has lost their loved ones, have to be able to attend their graves, and able to grieve. We have tried to deal with the heartless Friends ( Quakers ), and try to explain how we hurt, but with no success. According to the way they have treated us, they show no feelings, and are filled with mean and spiteful actions. I will talk about what happened as I go on with some facts about the people who have caused us so much trouble.

They have no reason to hate us, (as they claim they are peaceful ) but they follow the instructions of others, and uphold homosexuality, (which is the lifestyle that killed Russell ) along with other unbelievable things. We are suffering their vengeance because we have fought to get our son’s remains. The way Russell was taken advantage of, when he was too ill to know anything of the purported will or burial papers, and the fact we fought it, is why we suffer these ramifications at his grave.

I am going to devote Russell’s website to some real facts concerning the things, I have not written about yet. It will be quiet an undertaking, and may take some time, but things like the cover up of the burial, and all  documents will get published. This is the only way I know to get the truth out. Everyone needs to know what happened during this three year court battle, since there was so much dirty stuff done to us. 

What is on the Internet about the Quakers, is nothing like the historical Quaker’s beliefs, they use this statement, (historical simplistic ) to keep us from Russell’s grave. Now I want to let everyone know these people and their beliefs. 

They didn’t seem to care what we put on Russell’s grave until Kevin came in, and buried Russell’s dog there on top of him. They did not want me digging there, but I found the black plastic bag anyway. We know what happened to Russell’s dog, and they would not let us have him. When this happened, Kevin came back and destroyed all we had there. One of the women at the Friends had told me Russell’s grave was beautiful, they seemed to enjoy the fact I kept it up. But after Kevin came in and buried Dean,  (Russell’s dog). Everything changed….. I have written some about this, and I am sorry when I repeat myself, but facts at the time of another happening, brings these things to the front again.

Neighbors who walk the path by Russell’s grave, has told me they can see how we love Russell, they tell us so many remarks about the way we keep up Russell’s grave.

We got a letter from our mediation attorney, after we were upset that Kevin had not let the man who put the new stone down, destroy the old one. Kevin left the homosexual stone, lay there at the side of Russell’s grave four weeks. This was done to harass us……The letter from the attorney after he had talked to Kevin’s attorney, told of what Kevin’s mother had said.

After they finally buried the stone beside of Russell, we were really upset, because we knew they would put it back when we were gone. The stone should have been destroyed by the person putting down the new stone. There was an agenda there, to put it back later. Kevin did not want to take this stone up, but he was about to get in trouble for charging his half to Russell’s estate. Greed was about to get him, that is the only thing we got from the mediation. This still can be reported to the insurance company…..as the violations of the agreement. The historical, simplistic Quakers did not seem to care about a four foot stone laying at Russell’s grave for four weeks, and not being disposed of, and then burying it beside of Russell. This is just one sample of how the differential treatment of us at the site. They can leave this, but take our flowers, picture, and the CROSS.

Kevin’s mother denied, ( to Kevin’s attorney ) there was a stone buried by Russell. I had sent my attorney a picture,( with the couple of inches of dirt uncovered off of it.) Again, we know they just did this to harass us. My attorney told Kevin’s attorney he had the picture in his hand, (proving there were more lies)  We had to pay an attorney fees to deal with this stone, and then Kevin, or the Friends buried it beside of Russell. When Kevin’s mother denied this, she said, “The Groffs keep a cross and a picture of Russell on his grave, and the grave is well kept, with no signs of a stone. Is this ethical behavior??? Someone let me know what they think?

This makes it seem like we are allowed to keep a cross and picture of Russell there all the time. They take both off all the time, and harass us by this horrible action. I feel sorry for these people, they all will one day answer for taking the cross……..this is dangerous business, especially taking the CROSS.  God does not take lightly, what has gone on there.

Kevin’s mother was always involved in this mess, she thought we would be afraid of her status of being an attorney.  Kevin has even threatened us with his parents.

More about the roses, It was piercing cold when we got up on the hill yesterday, and what we found was even more piercing to our hearts. The roses I had put in the vase, were gone. As we looked at his grave, one rose was laying there broken from it’s stem about 4 or 5 inches long. Looking above his grave, we saw another rose about a yard away. I started crying, ( I know this just thrills them to death to read this ) then Lowell said, “Here are the rest of your roses.” The sadness in his voice, made my heart ache.  

I made my way over to where there was the second rose, and then two more, ( broken about the same length) about a yard from each other, seeming to making a path they wanted us to follow, and seeming to say, ” We will show you.” There on the way, were three stems from some of the ones they had broken the roses from, laid carefully so we could see them. The rest of the roses were thrown down in a bunch. Lowell had followed this path of vicious mischief, and found the rest of the roses. Both of us were in awe…..we keep thinking, when will they stop? There is no good to doing this to us, they really enjoy the pain they inflict on us. This is not of God, they are not of God….

Evil is as evil does…………………..

This may be hard for some to believe, and think what does it matter? It is very painful to have to go through for over four years….THIS IS OUR SON’S REMAINS, AND WE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO REALLY LOVED THIS YOUNG MAN! They are just using his grave and their control, to haunt us….

Lowell got the camera, and we carefully took pictures of each rose and where they lay. The roses had to have been taken soon after they were placed there, because the roses had broken with a clean break, all about the same size. They had been broken for sometime, because the break was black. The roses were still pretty, and would have lasted with the cold, that is a good thing about putting them there, the cold preserves them. These people did this methodically to show us, and to hurt us.

They don’t want us to even put roses on his grave, they have so much hate in their hearts. We have tried to talk to these people, and with no sympathy for our grief at all. Our conversations with them has been very upsetting, and like I wrote once before, very scary…..one of them threw a ball for a German Shepherd to attack me. We caught them taking things from Russell’s grave, and they wanted to make the dog attack. How can they call themselves the historical Quakers? They were about peace, but these people are not peaceful. They protest war at Oak Ridge in the summer, and they have declared war on two parents who deserve to be able to place flowers, and a few memotoes on his grave.

Russell was buried there illegally, and even in their own burial agreement, the family was to be in agreement for him to be buried there. I am going to try to get these documents posted……We were not even told where he was being buried,(until after he was buried) and lied to about him having signed papers. We have three different versions of this burial document. Kevin altered the witnesses names and Russell’s purported signature was not signed when he was competent. Kevin’s mother the attorney smudged over the one document, covering over his sloppy work. The attorney did not present this copy of the document, which is well documented.

We were supposed to be able to take care of our son’s grave, but the Friends will not even let us put a rose on his grave. They set rules after he died, and then dated them back……..there has been a tremendous cost to us, with all the devastating events at his grave. The mortuary buried our son without papers to do so, they did this with the word of Kevin and his mother, and the Friends allowed this.

If this is told to a jury of 12 people, I think they will wish they had left us alone. This is where we made another mistake, by not having a jury trial. The Quakers have made rules as they have gone along, about not putting certain things there, but this is a bunch of hog wash. They don’t want us to put anything there, because they hate us, ( good Quaker quality). It is for certain, evil will not rule for very much longer on this earth. It would blow anyone’s mind to know what we have had to go through down there.

We put the roses back in the vase and took pictures of them, and left them, with a note. They have been messing with the vase too, (we had cemented to the stone )and this is not good. We intend to follow up on all of this, because this is where we should have started, ( here in Tennessee ) with at the beginning….because he was buried illegally. The mortuary buried Russell without papers in their folder two weeks after Russell was buried, (one employee showed me the folder )to prove they could do so. I want to set in front of a jury and tell this horrible story. We want our son’s remains, and we are going to get them.

I want to document the evil that has been done each time we try to put something on Russell’s grave. These people are convinced, they are above the law. I wonder how people can do what they do and call themselves peaceful, historical Quakers?  We believe they are liberal, mean and hateful people, who use the historical Quakers to get away with what ever they want. When they go to Oak Ridge this summer, (as they do every summer, on the weekends) to protest the war, I am going there to expose them for the war they have declared on two grieving parents……I wonder how much attention that will bring. God will deal with all of this. I have been praying really hard about all of this, and eventually the answer will come, we have sought legal advice on this matter.

I have made a lot of calls this week, and have been successful in getting some results about this matter. I hope to one day be able to write about them releasing our son’s remains to us. We will never have any closure as long as Russell is buried there. Russell would never have wanted to be buried there, and the people who wanted this to happen was to get this place started. It had been grandfathered in for over twenty years when Russell died, so no one was stupid enough to be buried there. They had to take advantage of someone who was not competent to sign a document. I can bring this up, because the mediation agreement has been violated by Kevin and the Friends.

Lowell said, “It is hard to believe people can get mixed up with people like this. ” I remarked to him, “It’s brainwashing, they claim to be something they are not, certainly not what one would believe of the old Quakers.” I am really confused, how my son got brainwashed into believing things he did.  Knowing what I do about this group, I fear for those who are being brainwashed into believing these people are peaceful, simplistic people.

Lowell and Carolyn Groff

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.

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