The Official Russell Groff Story

January 16, 2007

This “Official Russell Groff Web Site,” has been set up to tell the true life story of our precious son Russell.

Russell died tragically on November 23, 2004 from HIV/AIDS. His death shattered our lives…… nothing will ever be the same without him. Things look and seem normal, but nothing feels normal. Russell is gone, and will not be back. Life will never be the same here on this earth.

We cannot see him, touch him, or hear his voice again until we get to Heaven. We do know we will see him again in Heaven, and that is what sustains us. Some people assume he will not be in Heaven, (because of the sin he was living in) but we know he is.

I think of the thief on the cross when I think of Russell in that hospital bed dying, and asking for a religous person. I know Russell realized he had sinned and he needed to repent.

I believe if anyone believes Russell will not be in Heaven because he had been living in sin, then none of us will be in Heaven. We all are sinners; I believe there is no little sin or big sin in the eyes of God. We are judged for what we do here on this earth! Russell loved the Lord; but he was brainwashed into things not of God. Russell made some bad choices, but we all make bad choices in life. I know if he would have realized the horrible early death he would have to suffer, he would not have chosen to believe those who brainwashed him.

Russell’s precious life was needlessly cut short and wasted because of the homosexual lifestyle. We loved and adored Russell so much……. he was always such a beautiful bright spot in our lives. He was very comical and entertained us all the time. 

We couldn’t tell Russell the gay lifestyle was acceptable, because the Bible says homosexuality is an abomination to God.  We talked to Russell about the scriptures, along with how it hurt us to see him destroying his life. This was to come true with a tragic ending to his beautiful life. I will never be able to understand how people can be so evil to destroy a beautiful life like Russell.

Later we were to find more about the religion he got involved with. This Quaker, (Religious Society of Friends) turned his spiritual thinking into believing Satan’s lies. His mind was completely clouded and confused by the people he became involved with.

Our worries about this lifestyle soon became the tragedy we could never have imagined. We knew the power behind such a lifestyle could only be of Satan. All we could do was pray for Russell, and try to deal with keeping him in our lives.

Much has been written by the gay activists slandering Russell’s parents, but we want people to consider the source it came from. Kevin, (the other person) found it necessary to feed his lies to all the gay activists who started a frensie of slander and harassment, even at the place where Russell was buried.

We believe the encouragement of others who uphold homosexuality, caused Russell’s untimely death. Russell’s dad and I were overwhelmed by all that transpired during the few years Russell was involved in the homosexual lifestyle, and his tragic death.  

Going back to when Russell told us he was involved in this lifestyle, we tried to remind him about his low immune system and the dangers of his getting AIDS. He didn’t want to listen to us, he had already been so brainwashed by the time we found out what was going on.

Russell had been told by Kevin and his parents; the Quakers, (Religious Society of Friends) and some of his friends at school, we did not love him or we would accept who he was. This made it very hard for us to deal with trying to get him out of the lifestyle. We leaned on every bit of our faith to get through this. It is hard to understand why Russell had to go before he got his life straightened out, but one day we will understand….

Russell was convinced by those around him he was born gay. This is one of Satan’s greatest lies! No one is born gay; it is a behavioral choice! No scientific evidence has ever proven this lie of Satan to be in born, it is sin born! The “church” that embraces and teaches that the homosexual lifestyle is okay, is not of God. These people who uphold homosexuality will have much blood on their hands!

Russell graduated in year 2000, with a double major from Maryville College. Russell’s partner quickly moved him away from Tennessee, to Baltimore. The plan was to get Russell from the influence of his Christian parents. Russell was always happy when he came home for a visit, and this made Kevin very jealous and annoyed.

Kevin attended a Quaker school; I believe in Baltimore or somewhere around there; so he had a large number of homosexual friends there who embraced the lifestyle. We believe when Kevin moved Russell up there, it was his way making sure Russell was alienated from his family. Only four years after moving to Baltimore; Russell would die an early, tragic death from AIDS, and only six years after he became involved with Kevin. Russell was diagnosed with HIV two years after moving to Baltimore. It was a very heartbreaking time for Lowell and I to deal with Russell wasting his life. As much as we loved him, we could not accept what he was doing. 

During the time Russell was involved in this lifestyle, Lowell developed a heart problem. Since I have become involved with parents of homosexuals, I find this is a very common happening. Parents are under a lot of stress worrying about their children, and it takes a toll on their lives. Parents hurt so much for their children; it affects their bodies in such tragic ways. Russell’s involvement in this homosexual lifestyle, and his death, devastated Lowell and I both.

Those who knew Russell loved him; he was a caring, intelligent, happy, fun loving, young Christian man, who was led astrayby Satan’s lies. His life took a tragic detour; and this is what I want to write about. This is the only way the truth will be told. I know Kevin and his friends want to hush the truth, but I will never stop…..

We know Russell struggled with the choices he had made. He was raised with moral and values that were embedded into his precious heart; he just listened to the wrong people. I am sure he had many hours of remorse when he lay dying. He knew those who betrayed him, but it was too late.

Those same people are walking around today with never a thought of our son, they don’t suffer the pain we suffer every day. I know one day they will answer for destroying our son, and the judgement will be one they cannot even imagine; you cannot get anything over on God.

Russell always excelled in anything he did. He became a black belt in Karate, won many awards, trophies and metals. He was an award winning speaker and writer. Russell loved art, and loved painting in watercolors when he was only in his preteens; he was an amazing person who had real zest for life.

Russell was active in scouting, (his dad was a scout leader when he was in cub scouts). Russell won many awards, trophies and badges. He collected boy scout collectibles; they are still in his room. He was active in many things and excelled in all he did.

He has so many awards we cannot display all of them; I have made a photo and scrap books, besides the ones he had already made.

Russell loved fishing and was doing this when he as barely able to hold a fishing pole.  He grew up fishing in a big pond at our farm, catching bass, bluegill and catfish.  He and his siblings all enjoyed fishing and learning the art as they grew up. We often took them to lakes and rivers too. Russell enjoyed camping, hiking, and many outdoor activities.

The last time we took Russell fishing was in 2001. This was when he came home to get away from the lifestyle. He caught several trout on that fishing trip; it was a  memorable day for us. As we look back, it gave us some time to enjoy him and forget about the life he was living.

We know Russell enjoyed being with us; it was wonderful to be with him. We savored every minute of the time we had with Russell.

Russell usually didn’t talk much about the lifestyle when he was around us; but on this trip he did talk about a few things, just letting words drift into a conversation. I was so afraid I would say something wrong, but we seemed to be able to talk about things very easily. I felt his desire to make a break from the lifestyle. Russell came home to get away from Kevin and this lifestyle, then Kevin came here to cause trouble and get him back.

I think of so many things we could have said, but we didn’t know what words would help. Our hearts hurt so much, but we had to try to hide the hurt in order to be able to see Russell. We knew everything we said would be used to help alienate him from us. We tried so hard to show him how much we loved him no matter what he did. We know in our hearts, he knew how much we loved him. The interference from others that kept him so confused.

We were not well informed about how to talk to Russell about homosexuality; it was just what our hearts and God’s word that we had to depend on. I would tell any parent, get informed about this homosexual agenda, because the more you know the more you can help your loved one.

After Russell went to Baltimore (where there is a lot of water access); we asked Russell if he went fishing up there and he said, “I don’t get to go because Kevin doesn’t like to fish.” It sounded like Kevin was controlling about everything, even his fishing. I placed a copy of Russell’s picture with his trout (caught a trout on his visit home) at his grave. It was taken from his grave by the Quakers; like every thing we put there.

Russell and his sister used to volunteer with meals on wheels, and spent time serving meals to the homeless. They were very close and always did a lot of things together. Russell had a really good heart and loved helping people. He helped coach middle school basketball while in high school, and tutored math students at our dinning room table.

Memories are stirred up when we look at his things he left at home. I spend a lot of time crying; and can see the pain in his dad’s eyes, even when we don’t talk. It is a quiet remembrance of the good times, overshadowed by the bad times we are having to endure. 

We try to visit his grave together a lot; just to go there and stand in silence, or work on his flowers. It is so painful the way they desecrate his grave by taking our memorials; actually stealing them. They seem to get a perverted satisfaction from doing this. It is some sick people who cannot respect the dead! It is hard for parents who love their child and have to endure this torture in order to even grieve for him.

Both of our voices quiver when we talk about Russell and try to reminisce about the good times. We worked so hard to give our children the right morals and values so they could go on and lead a good reproductive Christian life. Life just went wrong; no one can ever know why? There is not a day that goes by we don’t talk about Russell. He is with us all the time; ever abiding in our love for him.  We try to savor what we do have left in life; but the strain of Russell’s death has been a great deal of stress to carry each and every day……we miss him so bad.

Russell always had many friends; he was voted  “Who’s Who” of his senior class. He was never one to brag about himself; he always said he received his inspiration from God. I just wish he would have stayed on the right track; he could have done anything he wanted with his life. This is the pain that we face every day thinking of what could have been.

Russell became a born again Christian and baptized into the Baptist faith at the age of 12. He loved the Lord! When he got involved in the homosexual lifestyle, his spirituality was used to lure him into thinking things that were not of God. By God’s Amazing Grace, Russell is forgiven and is in a better place. We will see him again one day! It is his family; who loved him so dearly, whose hearts are broken. We suffer for the loss of our precious son………….

It was stated, he was a confessing Christian when he died. I am surprised this was said, but I am sure it was thought we would never find out what happened to our son. We knew he wanted to see us, and someday soon we will have all of this exposed. Kevin could not afford to have us come there; so he told Russell we would not come. This will be devastating to some when we can expose all that happened in that hospital room. I will continue digging……..

Russell was Vice-President of his senior high school class. This was an honor for him, because this was by popular vote. He was selected as a Proffitt’s Trendsetter (by facility) because he had such a great personality. Russell  wanted to be in the Trendsetters because one of his female friends was going to be in it.

It was strange wanting to be a trendsetter, when he was so happy to go to a thrift store and buy used shirts or pants. He was very thrifty and thought it was a real thrill to shop like this. He was so handsome it did not matter what he had on. He looked good in anything he wore. He was a clean cut and handsome young man.

Russell had one of his poems published in a national publication while in high school.  This particular poem was about his grandfather and great grandfather.  Some of the memories told him by his mother, inspired this poem called the “Hierarchy Theory”. The family should have gotten copyrights to these works of Russell’s, (we believe, Russell did leave these to the family). Kevin fought us and would not let us have them. He said he would publish them (for more money). Kevin wanted as much money as he could get off of Russell’s life. He had  the right to these; we feel Russell did leave these to us to be preserved for the right reasons.

The facts in the case proved Russell had made a previous will; and one day we will let everyone know all the facts about this miscarriage of justice. The Judge ignored all the facts in the case.

While in high school, Russell’s best friend; since second grade was his date to many high school festivities. Some of which was Homecoming festivities, as well as Junior and Senior proms. Russell was in the top 10 of his class. He participated in the scholars bowl, and was a member of the student council. He was design editor of the 1996 year book, and worked relentlessly with Emily, (who was the Editor) to have a great year book.

He was well respected by his teachers; they wrote him very nice letters for scholarships to college. Russell’s teachers in school knew how we were involved in his life. I have a letter from one of his teachers thanking me for all I did to help.

Russell was also editor of a newsletter for the theme park where he worked for the summer, during high school. Anything he did he tried to do a great job.

We can’t remember all of the awards Russell has gotten over the years; they are all in his room as he left them. He enjoyed almost everything; his zest for life will always be engraved in our hearts and lives. He loved Garfield, and he had a collection of Garfield memorabilia. Garfield seemed to be a little character similar to Russell, kinda of funny and laid back.

The world has lost a very talented young man who had so much potential. It was all such a waste; as many have lost their precious lives to this dreadfu lifestyle.  

Russell belonged to the Maryville College Choir; he had a beautiful voice, and was very musically inclined. In high school he played a silver trumpet;  the one we got back from Kevin, intentionally damaged to hurt us. Russell was learning to play the violin; his grandfather was a violinist. 

A parent’s love is from God! We loved Russell unconditionally; as God loved him. Embracing the lifestyle would be like us telling him a lie! If you love your child, you cannot tell him a lie!

Be sure to visit excerpts from Russell’s life, and the archives for more stories of Russell’s life.

Lowell and Carolyn Groff

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen

Psalm 1:1-3 “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.”

Psalm 119:9-10 “Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word. With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from they commandments.”